Sully

Sullivan “Sully” John Knecht first made his appearance into our world on the 4th of July. And in true 4th of July fashion, he came in like a firework. He was a surprise in the best way. He sparked so many questions that we didn’t have the answers to when we first discovered his existence. How on earth were we ever going to figure out how to manage 3 babies under 3? What would he look like? What would his name be? There were so many questions that we spent the next several months figuring out.

We figured out his name. Sullivan was a name I almost used with Teddy when I heard it at the very end of his pregnancy. John to honor my papa, John Cass and Sully’s Great Uncle Johnny Cass. I knew it would be the perfect name pairing for our third baby boy.

Sam and I spent months dreaming about who Sully would be. We discussed what his nursery theme would be. We discussed buying a mini van because there was no other way to fit three car seats in either of our cars.

On October 15th, a random Wednesday- all of that changed. Sully went from being a dream I held safely in my tummy to a dream I was able to hold far too soon in my hands. Sully left our physical earth the same way he first appeared in our lives. His birth was sudden and full of emotional moments. His birth brought us more questions than answers. We will spend the rest of forever imagining and dreaming up answers to the those questions. One of the biggest questions we will always wonder is who he would have become. Would he have been musically gifted like his Daddy or would he a teacher’s pet like his Mommy? Would he have been shy and reserved like his big brother Davis or would he never meet a stranger like his big brother Teddy or would he be a beautiful mix of both?

Although we will never have the concrete answers to many of these questions, I do know that he will always be the brightest star in our skies. I know that he will find a way to make his presence known because he’ll learn to be a master trickster like his Oma. Our hope for Sully is that he will find and be loved by all of our loved ones that have went before him, along with all of our animals there too. We hope that he will spend his time reading books and discovering all the cool hiding places and playground to take his brothers and us to.

Our dearest Sully, you will always be that brightest firework and star in our skies. Mommy and Daddy will spend the rest of our time on this earth loving you and missing you. We promise to honor you in everything we do. Your brothers are too young to understand now, but we will never stop saying your name and telling them all about you. Lulu would have been your fiercest protector here on earth, just as she was when we brought you home. You will be loved and missed by Gramma, Granddaddy, Mo, and Po, and all of your aunts, uncles, cousins.

Sully, while we may not have been able to spend as much time as we wanted to here with you on earth, please know honey, that you have changed our lives for good. Your handprint will always be on all of our hearts. We love you and miss you more than words can say.